DRUGS I'M CONSIDERING USING FOR MY DETOX, FEEDBACK???

This is a list of drugs I am thinking of taking with me t combat the effects of my heroin withdrawal. I=If you have any experience, or knowledge of using the drug in this manner, PLEASE let me know!
Kolinipin 2mg-have them already, good for muscle craps, sleep, general mood.
Clonidine, blood pressure med, also for motion sickness I THINK, but realy good leg pains, and during withdraw your blood pressure drops.
Imodium AD, Anti-diahara med. opiate base, cant not get high on, but less all side effects, and the runs!
Tramadol. mane made opiate, made to to not be addictive, some say it is, I don't like it, would use like aspirin.
And suggestions on Vitamins?
I have a couple in mInd, just not the mind I'm currently using.
Please you can bitch at me for anything but don't say I am running from the reality I created, I know there is nothing (under $15,000-$30,000) to give me no withdraws, I will drink beer, and try to stay in a relaxing environment, maybe the middle oh know where alone.
But I, am looking to lessen the symptoms, right now I have between a $5-$8.5 USD a day habit, I'm trying to gee lower before I eave, I feel stuck though, I have done this before at this dose, I don't know why, it's very hard dose to kick.

SORRY K
Many years ago I had an X-Girlfriend I moved cross country with, we were together 3 years, but remained friend. One day she called me, and told me she was addicted to heroin and dint know what to do.
I(if you have been reading my blog you'll know i sold pills for man years)
I told he I would detox her, at my house.
I went to a hospital in a major city with a notorious heroin problem, turned in her, spoons, needles, candles, lighters, all those old wrappers/baloons, and cottons you keep cause you think if you save enough its like 1"HIGH FREE1" IT NEVER IS, I GAVE IT AL TO A DR. TO DESTROY AND EXPLAINED M. SITUATION, I TOLD HIM I WAS GOOING TO KEEP A CHART FOR HER, IN ORDER TO TO LET HER CEAT ME, OR OD HER, I WAS GOING TO GIVE HER 100MG OF VALIUM A DAY, 4 TYLENOL PM, some (i don't remember how much) Phenegren, an opiate enhancer, better know as something for motion sickness, and imodium AD, contains ONLY an opiate you cant get high on, ad works for the runs.
I kept he in the sun room, to try to keep her warm. Given THIS WA MY X, I still, and still do love her, but I'm sure there was some getting even mixed it.
For the 1st 3 days, she got her meds, but then I gave her less, so she would suffer, ad remember what it like, she was sick for 2 weeks, bad, looking back I eel bad.
I have detoxed a couple times, it's never that bad for me, unless it's from oxycontin.
That was the last time she did heroin for about 10 years, she relapsed 1 night but thats it.
ANYWAY told the DR. I was going to do this, and give her these drugs, and he said I cant advise someone drugs to give someone I have never seen. BUT if she was here we wold give her pretty much the same thing.
You hear about those rich bastards getting a 4 hour detox for $30,000USD and a month later they are back. But I'm wondering, but don't thing its related to pain.
Yes, as kids we get spanked for being bad, as addicts we are immature.
but i think it come down to you, what you want, while i hate heroin, and want all this over with
I still want it, I still like needles in my veins, THAT IS WHAT I HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM, that is what I have to get out of my head.
Pain, it only makes we makes something to stop the pain, why not skip that part?

DAY 7

SO 2 days ago I mentioned a wish list, first off, I am new to all this, I thought I could put a bus or plane ticket on there and have people put $1 each in, I know now it doesn't work like that.
But I want to make it clear I am not asking for money, IT WILL GO TO DRUGS.
My fiance has been sick so this paycheck will be nothing, so it looks like we will have to wait till the 15th of feb before I can buy a ticket and get out of town.
The only reason I asked for help is because I want to start this now. I'm not looking forward to this, I will be sick, in strange place missing my girl, and dog, and my spanish isn't so hot.
I do have some friends I will stay with, but not for long, and not until I am well past my detox, as they know nothing about this.
But when I return I will move cross country to stay away from this stuff, for a while, I don't have the luxury of rehab. Well, I did find some free places, but they don't have any DR's on staff. I am a diagnosed with manic depression, lithium the drug that help me is a heavy metal, so I nee blood drawls 2 times a week.
1st i don't have the veins
2nd i cant afford the DR
3rd, I don't believe in god, or a higher power, and I don't want to hear about it.
I believe religion has caused so much pain and suffering throughout the world from the spanish inquisition to 911. torture, oppression, lies, greed, murder, where does it end? people twist their religions to make it ok to do what they want, like blow up people get 99 virgins (that would be a pain in the ass training all those virgins!) or maybe they WERE virgins, and islam has twisted that to appeal to their target market!
AND FAITH? The actually definition, belief that is not based on proof.
how can people be so stupid. and of all the religions, it's really what country you were raised in that determines your belief (for the most part) so who is right? no one
I do believe in a Buddhist way of life, don't hurt others, animals included (I'm a vegetarian of 23 years) But thats as far as it goes.
If you can't tell just the mention of religion pisses me off, don't get me wrong I love to argue (debate) with other about religion, politics, foreign policy, local policies, global warming, or lack there of, wars, anything. But my mind is made up. I love science, chemistry.
Seeing how things work, knowing why they do what they do.
Religion is the complete absence of that, and logic.
But I wasn't asking for a Iphone, of a ring, or money, only a greyhound, or similar, and a hostel, the cheapest possible for me to be in for 2 weeks.
Other than that I don't want anything, except to keep someone from going down this route.
I have been trying to taper my doses down, but we have to move, and with my girl sick, I cant be sick, I have to do everything, and that sucks too.
I am so ready to start this journey, to get my life back, to make something of myself, to be able to take care of my girl, as she has taken care of me.

I will work for bus ticket, hostel rooms in s. California

This week I can work in Tijuana, San Diego, if you put gas in my car, Imperial Vally, Orange County, Los Angeles, Riverside.
I can come do whatever work you need, for a bus ticket or plane ticket, both are about $150
I will also work for room, you can pay me, and I will book and pay for a room for a week or longer in front of you, so I will not have any cash for drugs, but MY fiance is sick, os with med and DR's bills we cant afford to do this until FEB 15th, but I am ready I want to go now.
If anyone has any work please contact me, Leave a # and I will contact you.
Thanks
j

day 6 wish list or any help

When I started this blog, I saw something for a wish list, which I cannot find now.
But I was going to see if i could put gift cards for hostels, restaurants, food, bus tickets in Mexico (southern) you can buy bus tickets that you can get off at any stop, and get back on, and they don't expire, i would want to do that as i need to stay months. plane tickets,(sometimes they are cheaper than a bus, last week TJ to Mazatlan was $32usd after taxes, now its $150) or have someone pay for how ever many nights that wanted to stay at a hostel $10-20 a day, (I WILL STAY AT THE CHEAPEST PLACE IN ANY TOWN ) but the biggest hostel, hosteling international doesn't have gift card, and will not take 3rd party payments, and i know better that to even ask for cash.
But if anyone has any ideas, or churches that I could sleep in a closet for a night, anything let me know please. I WILL WORK FOR A PLACE OR FOOD OR WHATEVER.
AGAIN THIS IS THE 1ST AND LAST TIME I WILL POST A POST LIKE THIS, this blog is not about getting things free, it about my story of kicking this habit, and HOPEFULLY helping others before they get this far down the road I'm on. But again your comments advice, everything has been a great help to me too, something I never expected.
I knew writing about what I'm going thru would be therapeutic, but the comments are helpful too so Please keep them coming.
P.S no listings for food banks, or homeless shelters, there are millions of Mexicans way worse off that me, maybe they don't have an addiction, but they have kids, no, or low paying job, maybe no home, or a shack, I will not do anything to take away any help for them, I can eat peanut butter everyday, and sleep in the jungle.
The only option I can think of is sending money to my fiances pay pal and as I have told her if a hostel if $80 a week, she can call the hostel, by looking the # up online and confirming the price, transferring the money to my account, and then confirming I am really there, if im not she will cut me off the whole trip.
For the record, she does NO drugs, and has no habits. I know that might be hard to confirm online, I can send pics of my arms, and hers.
Other than that, maybe a video of her passing a drug test?
BUT IF YOU CLICK ON THE AD BELOW, I MIGHT GET A PENNY PER cLICK, ENOUGH CLICKS MIGHT SUPPORT ME, BUT EACH CLICK HAS TO COME FROM A DIFFERENT COMPUTER. BUT AGAIN THIS IS NOT ABOUT MONEY, the only reason I am doing this is my girl got sick and has not been able to work, prices went up, so now we are looking at feb 15 for the soonest i can go, i want to go this weekend. you can send money via pay pal, thru www.chipin.com (www.chipin.com protects her identity), witch is also pay pal, you don't have to sign up for anything new, your papal account it connected to this site already
NO MORE MONEY TALK I SWEAR! I will not bring it up again, period.

Day 5 lower my dose 25%

But sadly I can't find anymore veins besides in my dick, but the lower dose was fine as I got it all instead of missing part of the dose.
The side effect of that is big bruises, but I don't care I'll be gone so they can heal.
My friends who could get discount plane tickets have not come thru so I might buy what I can find today, I'm gonna start looking now.

The story of my herion detox, and my life and/or death.: DAY 4, SUCKED

The story of my herion detox, and my life and/or death.: DAY 4, SUCKED: "I am trying to cut down before my trip, so I don't feel great, yesterday, i got a flat, today my spare got flat, i walked 2 miles, the 1/2 a..."

DAY 4, SUCKED

I am trying to cut down before my trip, so I don't feel great, yesterday, i got a flat, today my spare got flat, i walked 2 miles, the 1/2 a mile with a tire, and 1/2 with 2 tires (they rim was damaged) so i had to get a tire, and rim, the reason i was out, was to sell stuff i don't need to fund my "trip" the money i made paid for the tire.

BUT I WANT TO ADDRESS SOME QUESTIONS I GET ASKED ALOT.

WHY WILL IT BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME?
In the past I left for 2 weeks, came back was not sick, but was still craving it, so I went back.
I will not return until those desires are gone, usually 6-8 weeks, when I return I will be leaving again shortly to move to Seattle, where I have no connections, and lots of support.
(i know its reputation but I don't know it like that)
I want out of this life style, Im sick if my hands being to swollen to move, blood all over me, and my clothes. I have been given an ultimatum from my fiance, this is my last chance with her.
For all she has done for me, everything she has put up with the last thing I want to do is top it all off with a big FUCK YOU.
I owe her too much.
I have goals for my life for our life. And I cant continue doing what I am doing and accomplish anything.
Again the most import thing is I don't want this anymore for myself, or the people around me.

WHY MEXICO DRUGS COME FROM THERE..
I live in Mexico Tijuana, drugs stop here before crossing to the world largest illegal drug consuming country in the world, The USA. But heroin is grown in northern Mexico, they wont ship it south as the price is 80% less, so all the drugs go north, I will also be in the middle of nowhere with no money. So that should stop any desires I have. Despite popular belief pain killers are NOT available by prescription, they are for hospital use only, MY fiance works for a neurosurgeon, and 3 plastic surgeons, they can't even prescribe pain killers.
Yes you can go to any border town and buy whatever you want, but that is because it was smuggled from the USA, I know this for a fact as I have supplied some pharmacies in the past.

Also the last 2 times I kicked, it wasn't that bad, as I had weened down, it wasn't fun but I can do it.
It about getting this out of my head, I have an addiction to the needle as much as the heroin, so just doing something different for a couple months will help break those thoughts, and if not I will deal with them. this "trip"is my "intervention" this is my chance at "rehab"I won't get this opportunity agin in my life, there is no one who would do it except my fiance, and lie i said this is my last chance. I wont fuck it up.

P.S. I really appreciate the support, the doubts, the advice, everything, it keep all these things on my mind, and gives me someone to talk to about it. I started this blog to help others see where they could end up, but surprisingly it seems to be helping me too.