About Me

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Tijuana, Baja California Norte, Mexico
I am 37 been a junkie for over 10 years, here are some of my stories...

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

update! sorry for the delays

i have been keeping a diary that i can update later, now i willl just give my current situation. mainly for my friends following me.
i went to a hotel to sell some pills to a lady, met a girl, and her dad. offered to buy her dad a beer she said he was 10 months sober. that was that never saw the lady, so i went back another day and he was there so i asked about his sobritey, he talked about jesus, and said he knew an cab driver, we went and found the cab driver who lived in tj had a herion problem too, knew the places, the clinics, and ther  canadian guy said get him some help, ill pay for the cab, 15 mins later i was in a rehab, locked up like jail, probley the best thing for me for a couple days, then i started bitching about stuff as i cant go to meetings in spanish cause they talk to fast and i zone out, i said i want help, but i need it in english im not here toget my spanish better im here to get my life better, that marked a big change in the program for me, suddenly im out with the bosses, taking the bus, walking around, always supervised. but that is probley for the best too. they like me as i am the one of the few that came by myself, even though it all happened so quickly i didnt have much of a choice. they are suppposedly opening a clinic for americans here so they are going to have me work for them. i keep going back and forth about how long i will stay it is a 3 month program, but in spanish you might as welll talk to me in tounges. also today i found out my fiances best frinds cousin recently overdosed on heroin in tj.
after hearing that i was tramitized went to the kitchen where pink floyds wish you were here was playing.
that song reminds me of my best friend in seattle who died from heroin too. i almost lost it. im still shaking literally. it makes me think of staying longer.
despite the name of the website this isnt free its 270usd a month, plus my smokes, and food, as im vegitarian.
i dont know what else to say
but i think i will be able to come daily now, or at least a couple times a week


Anonymous said...

thats a crazy chain of events! good luck!

NolaFrnd said...

Talked to friends about train hopping back to TJ from down there and word is that the line from Guerrero to Michoacan goes all the way up North. Dunno if you plan on heading any further south now that you're kinda set up there :)

Anonymous said...

I have just read your Blog, and I wish you well on your journey, that you find the strength to destroy the demons, and that peace will prevail in your mind and heart.

Anonymous said...

dear brave one!
i have other, easier demons to housetrain than you; i wish you all the best and just wanted to tell you one thing: im 35 years old now and lost the 10 last years to drugs and depressions. i can only tell you, thats a boring life, and a depressing one, naturally too.
there is just one idea that helps me when all i want is to forget and just be high:

a day spent high is a day were you dont think. you dont remember most of it, your brain is on stand-by, you are not really In the real world and your personality just stops developing.
that sounds stupid in case you are still young, but only after losing 10 years to this "lifestyle" will you feel how empty you are. there is not much personality in you, there are no interests, no hobbies, nothing that makes you as happy as the one thing that is already annoying the shit out of you.
so what i mean is: a day high is like no day lived at all. but today, i want to live and experience the world around me, it is SO boring to just numb it out. reality is more rewarding in the end.
i guess you are on your way already and i hope you dont get to loose as much time as i´ve lost on such an uninteresting thing as drugs.
just think: today, i wanna live a little. maybe tomorrow i will fuck up, but today i will have a life.

all the best to you braveheart!

Jeff said...

Hey Pal, good for you. It's easier taking baby steps to get where you want to be. You didn't get there overnight sooooooo...it might take you a little time, but hey, isn't that's all we have plenty of anyway? Ironically I took my last drink on 2/17/83.Last month was my 28th year of facing Life straight on.I know it's work because every day feels like the first.Just remember Life is like a movie.If you leave before it's over you'll never how it ends. Take Care..Jeff

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