this is getting hard, i cant seem to get past my current dosage, i get too crazy , anger from know where. emotional , depression, i feel like everything is coming down on me, and i don't know why i cant handle anything. it all just becomes too much to deal with. I'm falling apart while i wait to go. the emotional part of all this, the plan, the though that no mater what i do i'll never be able to change, this is my destiny. what if I fail, then what
how am i gonna get myself out of this. what if the desire never leaves.
I have to stay gone until it goes away, how long until i know if i can t fix this, at what point do i know i cant ever be normal, and stop trying, to be something i cant.