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Tijuana, Baja California Norte, Mexico
I am 37 been a junkie for over 10 years, here are some of my stories...

Thursday, February 10, 2011

the money it takes

I had a fight with my fiance over $8usd, thats what my heroin currently costs per day.
i said i would do whatever i had to to get the money, and she said well maybe you should do that
As im spending our money until I leave. But I don't want to beg, or sell stuff, or steal. Im told I think we are rich and don't care about the money, if I did, I would do less.
I wish that was true, I know im throwing away money, our money, and currently she's the only one working. Its shitty, disrespectful, it makes it look like im using her, and I don't care about our future together. When in reality that is all as far from the truth as possible.
But thats how she feel, and she should, that is how she is being treated. I have told her many times, everything she has done for me will be made up, somehow some way, and I intend to do that. But the fact that $8 has caused so much trouble is saying a lot, I have spent $1000.00's on this shit, in the last couple months.
I just need to make it 1 more week.
on a side note my back is .killing me


Anonymous said...

Seriously, stop putting it off. You are delaying the inevitable. Every day you put it off is a day you lose form being your best self and being in life.

One of the things I recommend as someone who overcame her own addiction is to find a way to turn on the part of the brain that become alive from drugs though other methods. I know its sounds cliche but meditation, journaling, seeing the symbols and signs around you helps. I spoke to a buddhist monk through out my detox. It helped alot.

Stay strong. Begin it now. Believe in yourself and look forward to a your rebirth.

Anonymous said...

The only way to get clean is to find God.
The world don't care about you, doctors don't care about you, your family don't care either. Only Christ loves you and will grant your wish, I.E. to go straight from your drugs. Relocating will just be dissapointing, drugs are everywhere and YOU are in bondage to the herion. Pray to christ and get healed from this bondage it works man!

Anonymous said...

Very good you do it! A person should do what he enjoys most! One take drugs, one drinks, one fucks, so I don't see what's wrong with it............. We live in an open society that everyone is free to do what they wanst to do as long as this is NOT kiling or a criminal thing. So don't feel guilt at all! Good luck and keep on living.............

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