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Tijuana, Baja California Norte, Mexico
I am 37 been a junkie for over 10 years, here are some of my stories...

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

time to cut down again

Because of our money problems, I have to cut down again or it will delay my detox.  So as hard as it might be I have to do it, or just stay on this path i'm on. A path of death, misery, destruction, there is nothing good down this road. Well, there is temporary comfort. But thats it I might feel good for a couple hours, after im not sore from 30 pricks with a needle. But that is short lived.
Now I have moved into a new house, with a girl who is the cousin of one of my best friends here, so I have to be even more careful no one finds out before I leave.
I wish this could start today, I don't want to get sick or feel bad, and like I have aid many times, if I do it here, I will just go et drugs, but to be in a place where I have nothing, no options, but to get sick and deal with it, thats all I want, I will be gone for a long time, so the longer I wait to go, the longer till I return. The in turn longer till I leave this town.
I guess the easy part is now almost everything is unpacked so I can get sick, and stay in bed most of the day.
That takes some of the pressure off me to "be well" if I had the balls, I would say fuck it and start detoxing now. I just cant bring myself to do that.

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